Ask Amy: I’ve been with him three years, and he won’t let me in the house

Amy Dickinson

Dear Amy: I’m a widowed woman (62) and met a man (36) with two young children.

Amy Dickinson 

We’ve been in a relationship for three years and so far I’ve yet to meet his siblings or mom, I can’t go in his house, and we’ve only been intimate a few times.

Our “relationship” consists of phone calls and text messages.

I’ve invited him and the kids to holiday and birthday meals, but he’s always got other plans. I’m never invited to any family gatherings.

He says he cares for me very much — as I do him — but this isn’t working for me. What do you think?

Wondering

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Dear Wondering: I think this isn’t working for him, either.

I hope you meet a new special someone who wants to open his life to you. This man … ain’t it.

Dear Amy: I started seeing “James” three months ago. I am 35 and he is 40. We both have successful careers, great communication and an appetite for adventure. It has made for an amazing start, but I struggle with some baggage.

James has a 4-year-old daughter part time, whom I adore.

James and his ex “Constance” were together for six years, never married. Constance has always been a stay-at-home mom, raising three older children that James considers stepchildren.

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Constance left James. He was shattered and confided in me that she must have been miserable to leave the financial security he provided. The thing is — she still has it!

For the past year, Constance and their daughter reside in the house he bought for the family, no strings — or rent — attached.

Their agreement is that she may stay indefinitely. If she decides to move, he would sell the house and she gets half. He also pays her monthly child support ($500 more than is legally required).

When I expressed how generous he was, James elaborated that he wants his daughter to live comfortably, and Constance takes good care of the property.

While I admire his heart and support, I can’t help but think …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Latest News

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