Harriette Cole: My daughter is about to repeat my big mistake

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter recently told me that she wants to move out of state by herself.

Harriette Cole 

She just graduated from college and is very independent, but I really want her to stay closer to home without clipping her wings.

When I graduated from college, I was engaged to be married, so I left home and moved to a different state from my family, and I deeply regret that.

I know that these are different times, but I would still like her to stay close to home. How do I broach the subject without making her feel that I am stopping her from exploring her adult life?

Empty Nest

DEAR EMPTY NEST: Your job as a parent is to prepare your child to become an adult. That means that you give her the wisdom and knowledge about how to take care of herself without your supervision.

This is hard for parents sometimes because on one hand, we want our kids to grow up, but on the other, we want them to stay close to us.

You have to prepare to let go — now. Allow your daughter to make her own decisions. Let her move wherever she wants to move, and give her your blessing. You can tell her that she is always welcome to come home and that you will miss her terribly, but you have to encourage her to make her own decisions.

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Do not talk about your regrets right now. That will guilt her. Let her go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve recently started dating a woman who is a lifelong vegan. She is very health-conscious, and she even has a website and YouTube channel dedicated to her plant-based lifestyle.

While I admire her dedication to veganism, I myself have never been a vegan, nor do I wish to be.

My girlfriend has “joked” a few times about how she plans to convert me into a full-fledged vegan. Whenever we go out to eat, she gets upset if I choose a meal that has meat in it.

I’ve never liked being told how to live my life or feeling like someone is forcing their ways on me. I don’t appreciate the judgment she passes whenever I eat what I want to eat.

How can I …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Latest News

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